Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Shaking the tree

Feliz Natal gigante que macacos careca!

It is very very cold here. So cold that I’ve been refusing to type on this funny thing they put in front of me from time to time for fear of my little fingers getting stuck like the tongues of stupid people on ice cubes!

All this awful coldness does have a nice side effect, though – less tapping on the glass means a more relaxed time for me, Mum, Dad and the Twins! Fewer and fewer of you are coming to visit and many of those that do are dressed in red pyjamas with a kind of giant hat. Many have obviously false beards and moustaches. Homens Barba estranho!

It has something to do with being jolly and giving presents away – but I have yet to see any benefit – not even one mushy banana has been pushed in my direction by them! I think the keepers have misunderstood – these people are simply lost garden gnomes with insultingly fake facial hair. Why can’t you big apes take a hint from us and put as much effort into all the little hair you have as you do that on your head?

One champ in the head hair stakes is Kevin Pietersen who my owners Frank PR had in to celebrate his selection as the new Brylcreem boy. He is very famous amongst you lot for his skill hitting hard, round things you can’t eat with giant slabs of willow. I’m very excited he’s decided to come on board for my campaign!

So you know what to do – move your mouse up to one of my causes on the right – and hit the button!

Vejo você depois!

Friday, 20 November 2009

Rumble in the Jungle

Tocar a música alta, você grandes macacos!

Well your days and nights sure are mixed up here these days. It seems you have so little sun anyway most of the time that the silly fireball has decided to clock off early for a big chunk of the year. Maybe you lot think you need less sun than you do as you have so many confusing ways of entertaining yourselves.

Like those little wires that go into your ears to deliver strange patterns of noises. The keepers call it ‘music’. As it gets darker, more of you seem to be going inside earlier to listen to these confusing vibrations.

Well that’s fine by us as the closest thing to music you lot make near here (and don’t think I’m sounding like a broken record! Ha!) is that awful tap tap tapping on the glass followed by icky cutesy noises.

My owners at Frank PR sure know a lot about music. They had a fellow who seems to have named himself after them called ‘Frankmusik’ come along to help celebrate KitKat’s Battle of the Bands. When he heard about my campaign, he offered his loud support as you can see!

I wish they had asked him to make some monkey music. We are your cousins so sure deserve our own pop charts.

I think that the drumming bit would come from tail thumping. A baboon could hoot for bass. Lyrics would deal with the heartbreak of rotten grapes, poor grooming, and unrealistic jungle enclosures. I might speak to Mum and Dad about starting a band. We could be the Jungle-y Three with the Twins as backing singers. Nós vamos governar o mundo com os nossos sons!

Of course the only thing we’ll be singing is the blues unless you unplug yourselves from your nonsense, click and donate!

Até a próxima!

Monday, 2 November 2009

Hairy, scary and small

Olá, meus amigos a meia grande e pequeno!

Hello again my oversized cousins! Well we’ve been very very busy lately. So busy I’ve been more concerned with entertaining you, keeping up with the Twins and keeping sane than typing things into this crazy machine.

I’ve also been in a jealous mood about the Twins. They are cute and interesting but surely not as much as me! They just stay on Dad’s back and have so little evidence of a moustache that I’m not sure we are related at all.

We’ve all been puzzled as there have been many, many more of you coming to visit than usual. The last week has seen some proper crowding round the glass, despite your vile weather. You brought along far more of those small, loud creatures than before. One of the keepers said it was something to do with ‘half term’. I think if it was a whole term there would be such a surplus of sprogs about you’d not be able to move! Um campo das crianças!

This could be a good thing because it means whichever mugging oaf is tapping on the glass is likely to get tired, but could not be replaced. I’m not scared about that any more, just annoyed.

What is scary is the tradition you lot have of dressing up in ridiculous outfits for one night to go round demanding candy.

Trick or treat? Surely it would save money to trick anyone coming round your house with some kind of monkey magic rather than give away precious sweet things? If anyone was foolish enough to shake my tree and demand a grape they would get quite a scare, let me tell you!

What is scary of course is that if you don’t change your ways, my kind are more likely to be found behind glass than in trees. So go on – click to your right to donate and let me know of any more groups helping my cause you’d like to see here!

Até a próxima vez que você grandes macacos!

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Play it loud

Saudações novamente meus amigos aspirantes a rock star!

Your strange, rocky little island never ceases to confuse me. What you call a summer was just a period of such large wet greyness it was closer to being a whale then a season. Now I hear you chattering that ‘winter’ is almost upon us – but the sky is clear and full of sun. Yet when I get close to the glass it is so cold I almost stick on it. No wonder you are all such eccentric, moody and loud animals. Sometimes it is all enough to make me want to move to a nicer island where the people talk funny but the weather makes more sense.

My owner, Frank PR seem to have had similar ideas so opened up an office on a big, big island far away where the weather is nice, accents are twangy and there are very bizarre animals (but no monkeys). There are big, flat furry ducks that lay eggs in the mud and giant boxing rabbits with built in luggage. Man eating lizards sometimes invade golf courses to live in the water. All very crazy, yet they tell me there are no monkeys. I bet the lizards ate them.

The Frank people there are surrounded by the ocean so are especially concerned that my campaign succeeds or else they will end up floating around on eucalyptus leaves! Isso seria terrível!

Luckily they are introducing me to many celebrity friends that can help. Andrew Stockdale from the very loud rock band Wolfmother visited to help launch Guitar Hero 5. Despite the scary name of his band, he wants to help me save the planet.

Even if you have no guitars and don’t feel much of a hero, you can too. Just look to your right, click and donate!

Até a próxima!

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Get Cape, Wear Cape, Eat Grape!

Saudações meus amigos super-herói!

It has been very noisy around here lately. Mum and Dad have been busy as Mum has just made two very small monkeys that are nice but not as nice as me. We’ve been taking turns looking after them and introducing them into our moustachioed ways. The hair on Dad’s back has just come back after having a hard time of it when I made it my home. I think I ate too many grapes and then it started to hurt – but not as much as two monkeys!

The ability to carry loads of monkeys in your hair is a kind of a super power. I’ve been thinking about super heroes and super powers a lot lately after my owners Frank PR brought The Hulk, Iron Man, Spider-Man, Thing and Human Torch to London to help drum up some interest for the new Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 game.

When they heard of my campaign they decided to support me as I can be a superhero too! They even came up with a logo for my cape. Of course to us monkeys, most of the things big apes do aren’t super heroic – they are just super stupid. Today one of you seemed to have a super ability to pick their nose when they thought I was not looking. Tão nojento!

If I had superpowers they would be more interesting than that. Like the ability to shoot giant grapes from space into my gob at will, or an electric moustache that could shock you lot every time you tap on the glass. Maybe I could turn you all into ripe bananas just by staring cutely…?

Of course with things being as they are, anyone can be a hero for the planet. Just care, click and donate to your right…

Vemo-nos em pessoas céus!

Monday, 21 September 2009

It's a fair cop

Saudações meus amigos na chuva!

I’m sorry but I really must complain about the awful state of your island here. Some days you get enough water coming out of the sky to create a new electric eel sanctuary, other times it is just as cold and grey as the inside of a wet breezeblock. I wonder how you cope, but still the energy remains for you to come and mug at us through the glass. The latest thing seems to be to add foolish ‘OOP OOP’ type noises to experimental dances. The more of your little ones are around, the more the big ones resort to this kind of behaviour. In any other context, the police would be called.

Which reminds me of the latest celebrity friends my owners Frank PR have enlisted to my cause, Sam and Mark – who came round as part of npower’s Climate Cops campaign. I wish they would take their mission to keep the world cool and nice for all of us into the sky, and hit whatever it is that makes your silly weather with a baton! Seriously, though if you don’t all put your hands up and admit the problem, the whole planet will become even less pleasant than your chilly rock of an island. You know what to do – look to your right and be reminded!

Mantenha-a limpa até a próxima!

Friday, 4 September 2009

No monkeying around at breakfast...

Olá meus amigos frequentemente férias!

So many of you have been doing that ‘staycationing’ nonsense or else celebrating another one of your all too rare Bank Holidays by making stupid hooting noises at us that I’ve had to take a break from typing these just to cope.

In my absence I see that my naughty owners, Frank PR have been flirting with other monkeys. Or at least monkeys that have taken a liking to their client’s breakfast crunchy thing. Seems that some monkeys at the Heythorp Zoological Gardens saw their keeper eating something tasty pretending to be a banana called Banana Puffs. Now these silly looking pink faced fellows are demanding the same for their breakfast – forgetting about what a real banana is! Your confusing lives and language never seems to amaze me.

Luckily as these are ridiculous, moustache-less Rhesus Monkeys Frank assured me they could never replace me in their affections - after I threw several squishy old grapes in their direction that is!

Of course if you lot carry on making the planet hotter you will have to worry about confused, angry wildlife interfering with more than just your breakfast. So click my causes and donate please.

Até logo amigos!

Friday, 7 August 2009

Saunas and Simian Hairstyles

Olá aí estranho penteado com macacos!

Hello my sweaty internet friends! How are you? I could be better. The weather on your wet, grey island never ceases to amaze and disappoint me.

First enough water to create a mini Amazon on your sidewalks pours down out of the sky, and then it goes away. Before I can even be relieved at that the water disappears into the air, making things seem hotter than they are and turning my coat into a sweaty, smelly mess not unlike an old bathroom rug left in a sauna for a fortnight. This is a depressing look. I am not one of your sleazy sauna monkey types. I have no bear claw necklace or medal on a chain.

Meanwhile, you lot have taken to finding the steamy glass of our enclosure very funny indeed. Some of you use it to draw pictures that mum and dad will not explain. It can be very hard sometimes to see who has evolved from whom!

Of course if you keep on being silly with the climate the way you are we all will end up looking sweaty and wrinkled, all the time. Click to your right if you care about your hair!

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Two legs bad, four legs better?

Well my computer friends we meet again!

You seem a lot happier than before. That loud green bug game we discussed before seems to be going a lot more in your favour than you expected. I bet your rivals from that Down Under place will soon be selling their tear stained cork hats on ebay in shame.

Of course if you miss crucial points in the game it will be harder for you to make fun of them. My owners at Frank PR had Jimmy Anderson, who throws those red hard grape things fast for you down to remind you that the more of that juice you drink which makes you act funny you get down you, the more likely you are to be relieving yourself when important things happen.

But what’s this? A loud hooting coming from the keepers enclosure where they have that funny glowing box with a whole miniature world in it means there has been trouble. Seems that one of your chief giant grape like object batterers has been injured. This has damaged your plans to upset the cork hat people, apparently.

All this got me thinking – your famous sport silverbacks all seem pretty fragile, despite all their money and acclaim?

Then it hit me like an overripe banana falling from the trees – your problem is that you insist on walking upright, on two legs! Like those stupid, greasy and mean ostrich things – but they are much faster and better balanced than you. Doing things upright means that you wear your legs and feet out too quickly. Spend more time on all fours and you will be hurt half as much and not trip. You would be less upset by sport problems. The innocent, lovely way your babies look at the world when they are not being loud and stinky would return for all. And most importantly, there would be no big wars as you would all get to know each other as well as dogs do.

It all makes me wish John Lennon was around to write a song about it…Ah, well!

Mantenha-o quatro patas!

Friday, 10 July 2009


Boa sorte alegando sua volta estranha cinzas Inglês amigos meus!

Hello again my computer friends! Your icky unfriendly wet weather has kept us all hiding under leaves but we have been lured out to see why so many of you are excited and wearing white sweaters at the wrong time of year.

I’ve been told that it is all about a silly little cup of ash that you fight over with people from Down Under? Even Richard Branson is getting in on the act.

Whoever hits the giant red grape with the tree thing enough in a game named after a noisy green bug gets to keep it for a while. Why keep something you can’t eat and won’t scratch you? You are some big stupid naked monkeys you lot.

Well anyway my owners at Frank PR had champion thrower Stuart Broad round to deliver news of half price deals at Ocado. He is also concerned to make you all stop my home turning into whatever burnt stuff you lot keep in that silly urn.

Well if you ask me the best way is to click one of my causes on the right and dig deep!

Manter viva esperança!

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Dressed Heads and Fast Hooves

Olá aí cavalo, chapéu e dama fãs!

I keep saying how hot it is getting for you but now it is too hot even for me! If I could get my hands on some clippers I would consider a serious trim. That way the next time you scare me and dad with your ugly mugs pressed against the glass, I could moon you back properly like a 70s streaker.

All this heat must have barbequed your brains because how do you react? By putting small men on top of horses and making them run until most of you lose money on the whole thing.

At the same time loads of your finest females prance about with sculptures on their heads. But only a few get noticed. This year despite the sweet melting heat the Quality Street Girls were helped by my owners Frank PR to make hats inspired by their favourite chocolates. They are 100 times normal size and I’m told the lady with the Purple One on her head had to spend all day looking to avoid any visiting elephants suspecting a nutty filling! Toffee Penny and Green Triangle were less interesting to large animals, but modern art collectors put in a few offers I’m told…

And Green Triangles remind me of the arrow I would draw pointing right and down to my charity links. If I had a small enough pen. Get giving before we all melt!

Até a próxima, manter refrigerado!

Thursday, 18 June 2009

Jungle Groove

Dança a minha rua que grandes símios!

Hello again my tailless compadres! It is becoming far more hot so you lot look and smell even more rude than before. I may need to stuff my nose with leaves to cope, but that would make you tap on the glass even more than usual or call the vet to bother me again. Last time the vet came to poke around in embarrassing places and jostle my fur I made such an effort to get away from the cold tongs and stethoscope that it look like I was doing one of your popular street dances.

I was inspired by one of your kind as the megamonkeys at Frank PR had Britain’s Got Talent champion hoofer George Sampson come down to Alton Towers to get people dancing like him.

Of course if it keeps heating up in the Amazon because of you lot’s bad habits the only thing for me to groove on down to will be the thought of scrub grass and cow poo replacing my ancestral home. On the right you will see many ways to stop this happening by throwing my great cause a bit of shrapnel. Come on, you’ve have only spent it anyway?!

Vejo você na próxima vez que você louco Samba estudantes!

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Sleeping through a rodent invasion

Cuidado com a desagradável homens nas urnas lhe grandes macacos!

Hello again my electronic jungle friends! And now I am linked up with Twitter I will be able to keep in touch with even more of you.

I’ve not been smiling as much as usual at you errant glass tapping tarsiers because when you’ve been cooing and making faces at me you should have been off down the local dusty, squash stained community hall to vote. Instead of stuffing ballot boxes with your hard earned rights you’ve been stuffing your faces with ice creams while gurning at mine! While you’ve been having fun some seriously nasty creatures have slipped themselves into Strasbourg. It would be as if I carried on hopping in time to your annoying glass tapping as a gang of smelly rodents ate all my grapes and gnawed through the roots of my tree. How silly you naked types can be.

We monkeys are experts at politics – if you groom the wrong back at the wrong time, forget to groom it, go against the fur direction or hog all the grapes the trees will shake with the biting, dung throwing and squabbling. Luckily it is just me, mum and dad here which leads to less confusion as long as my perpetual fruit rights are respected.

Of course if you carry on as you do there will be no fruit, or trees that are not the plastic variety you get in bad serviced offices. Look into your heart – then look to your right and get giving to my favourite charities!

Mantenha-o real até à próxima vez!

Friday, 29 May 2009

Cup double and climate trouble

Olá novamente nostálgicos fãs de futebol!

Well it looks like the weather is turning somewhat more Brazilian for you overgrown lemur children so we expect to see many of you smiling at us and pointing over the weekend. Though if the glass tapping keeps up mum and dad say they will find a way to electrify it. I bet the faces you make will be even funnier to us then!

Of course in my homeland nothing gets in the way of football, not annoying taptap noises or even the lack of shoes and ball - but it is nice that the sun will be out for the FA Cup final. My owners at Frank PR are especially excited as they've helped Setanta Sports bring back the two most famous pundits from that happier, shinier time they call the eighties, Saint and Greavsie, to comment on the game. They keenly offered their support to my cause as I could use their tactical genius in my quest to get you to dig deep to save my home.

Setanta didn’t forget the naughties though as Jon Champion is going to be the world’s first Commentweeter, interacting and punditing through a modern medium named after birds.

I don’t mind birds as long as they stay away from my grape stash and are sensitive about where they relieve themselves – my luxuriant fur is hard to clean. As will be your conscience if you don’t donate soon. Especially as I’ve added Rainforest SOS which was founded by your very own Prince Charles.

Ver-te novamente em breve, os fãs de futebol!

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Famous Bones

Saudações electrónicas osso caça fãs!

Mum, dad and I have been especially busy lately because your silverbacks seem to have decided to bunch up all your Bank Holidays round May time. I’ve been entertaining many more of you than usual with my moustachioed antics. As long as you do not tap on the glass we find all of you quite amusing to watch, too. It is hotter now so you are wearing less clothes than usual, reminding us of the full extent of your furless indecency.

Some of our spoddier keepers were marvelling about this new fossil that may be a common ancestor of us all. She is called Ida and is preserved well enough that we can see she was a real gourmet – her last meal consisted of fruit (giant, football sized prehistoric grapes I bet) and leaves. There is a lot of controversy as some scientists are suspicious of the amount of marketing associated with it today even though it was dug out of a famous bone pit twenty years ago. Saying she links us all might be as premature as putting a hard, tiny green banana on your cereal before you’ve even poured it into the bowl.

Ida has a TV documentary and a book deal already and I’d not be surprised if there are Ida branded dolls, novelty sausages, moustache combs, Lego play sets and commemorative pyjamas in the near future.

If the big apes at Frank PR carry on in their accustomed fashion I will soon join Ida in international fame and be able to design my own brand of grape case (to avoid that embarrassing squishing problem). The sooner you dig deep to save my home, the sooner I can concentrate on innovative merchandising so get clicking on the right - right now!

Até a próxima, olhar para fora para famosos ossos!

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

A dangerous adventure...

Assustador, não gosto de animais grandes macacos!

Hello again electric dreamers. I wanted to let you know about an attempt my owners at Frank PR made to make me a new celebrity friend that didn’t quite work out as expected.

One of the brave hominids from Frank went on a long and risky journey to make a new animal friend. There is just one family of Wolverines in the UK – at Edinburgh Zoo. These creatures are not nice like me – they are more dangerous than a bunch of grapes covered in spitting cobras and barbed wire. They don’t like much, but they do like video games like Activision’s new ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’.

So much so that Xael, the male wolverine, agreed to change his name to Logan if Activision would stump up the expense of keeping him happy for a year and do a photoshoot to commemorate it all. With great personal risk to all involved, this was done. However, Logan’s poor performance playing the game put him in such a mood that when he was asked if he would offer a message of support he said he’d rather slice me up into a hairy bit of haggis filling. And if he was asked again while he was busy playing he’d tie up my whole family by our moustaches and gut us like malformed kippers. Que desgraçado!

Well matters soon improved as my owners also had arranged to meet the far nicer, prettier and less mean Lucy Pinder to launch the game. She was so moved by my plight she even drew me a picture. Dad seems especially interested in her endorsement, but will not explain why. Maybe she has told him where to get some banana scented moustache styling clippers?

Até a próxima!

Friday, 1 May 2009

Secret Agents and Grape Breaks

Feliz Bank Holiday careca gigante irmãos! Cuidado com os impostores!

Hello again my electric friends! Well I expect to see a lot more of you in the next couple of days as it is one of those funny times when you have an extra day off. A special time to kick back, relax and sit in a big, cool potted plant with about 5.5 kilos of black grapes. And green grapes too, but not forgetting about the red! That’s if you were as evolved as me. I suspect most of you lot will be stuck in traffic.

My owners, the not-as-small-as-me simians at Frank PR just tried to trick me into thinking I had a personal greeting from the US President. After I tweaked Dad’s moustache in joy, I saw them giggling and realised that they had used an imposter! Something to do with Activision’s big new game Secret Service (links). They sent this man all around London with some scary looking bodyguards.

A faux President he might be, but his heart is clearly in the right place. Why don’t you take a lead from him, look to your right, and donate to change things for the better?

Até a próxima, mantê-la real!

Monday, 27 April 2009

Monkeys, Backs and Budgets

Pare de se preocupar você grandes símios bobagem! O clima está ficando mais agradável

Greetings my internet bretheren. Well I’ve noticed a lot of fretting and chatter from you naked types in the last week about something called a Budget.

Sounds like the codename of one of my more annoying and smelly avian neighbours. To be fair to the Silverbacks in charge, all those numbers change so much and come in long after they have happened – it must be like swinging from tree to tree while facing backwards!

My very objective Simian Opinion is that there are far fewer bananas to go round than people thought and a nasty switch from grapes to stick-in-moustache sultanas is in the offing. Most of the bananas were probably inflatable toys anyway. But what do I know. I am too obsessed with grapes to understand high finance.

Speaking of backs you’ll be pleased to know I’m spending less time on Dad’s back now and am hopping about. I now am more likely to get my fair share of the elusive round fruit and Dad seems to be happier now, too. Must be hard to have a monkey on your back - no wonder the hair on them eventually turns silver!

Até a próxima mantê-lo sóbrio!

Friday, 17 April 2009

He remind youu...

Ele está atrás de você! Meu chocolate indulging coelho adorador amigos

Well I was unable to write to you last week as there were many, many more of you naked giants about than usual peering in at us. Some were dressed as rabbits or birds, and you seemed to eat chocolate eggs en masse. I thought that it would be more fun to build a giant nest out of banana leaves and make someone sit on the eggs until they hatch. Or else eat as many as possible before being asked to breathe heavily in the direction of a beehive.

Actually, that kind of fun imagination is one of the reasons I should be brought on as Special Simian Consultant for the next series of I’m a Celebrity. In fact, panto champ Christopher Biggins himself, was recently in the offices of my owners Frank PR to record a video for Kit Kat’s ‘Working like a Machine’ campaign. I don’t know what machine he was, yet, but I’d be more than happy to impersonate a small and remarkably effective Grape Disposal Unit if Frank ask me.

Of course if it keeps getting any hotter out there, there will be no grapes, only horrible raisins that would stick in my fur. You know what to do to stop that happening, and you can get started by looking to the right, right now! Get clicking, get donating, get spreading the word amigos.

Ah, meu Deus que se parece com alguns frutos pai não tenha notado ainda! Vejo você depois!

Friday, 3 April 2009

‘G’ is for Gibbon

Saudações G20 fãs! Prazer em ver o meu presidente, o quadro também

Well I see there is a lot of talk from you massive marmosets about this G20 thing that happened in London. Pah! You’d have to be as slow as Boris not to know that everything was agreed far, far in advance except for a few last minute tantrums and forms of words. More work for PRs than the PM, if you ask me.

But don’t take my word for it – listen to my new chum Alistair Campbell, one of the most famous political operators of all time. My owners had him along to launch the ‘Time to change’ campaign, which seeks to remind all you silly simians who seem to have forgotten how many of your silverbacks suffered from mental illness. I thought everything you did was supposed to be some kind of evolution. Guess not!

Well at least Alistair is an advanced enough ape to know who the best candidate to protect his world is! By the way folk, please take time to click on the climate related links to my right – have a browse, make a donation if you fancy it – go on, I dare you!

Até a próxima, mantê-lo com base árvore!

Friday, 27 March 2009

Inflatable Fruits

The only way is up

Anima-te você raspou grandes macacos!

Even from under the fur of Dad’s back, I could hear you bipedal wonders talking today about inflation. Something about too few shiny round things and coloured paper to get the same goodies as before. Big grey silverbacks came out with numbers they were not expecting and then the chattering started. To me, they are just abstract shapes like tufts of fur left on the floor after a particularly effective grooming session. It just a silly thing quite separate from the fruit eating, food throwing, hooting, grooming and that other thing Dad won’t tell me about which really matter.

You laugh but we monkeys know quite a lot about economics – when I get bigger I’m sure my magnificent moustache will be stroked more than a pub dog while I consider the latest changes in grape futures pricing, or whether a quick groom is worth a nibble of a neighbour’s apple. The apple might be less sweet than one expects, and while I’m grooming the apple’s owner some naughty ape might snag my cucumber cube stash. Decisions, decisions!

Até a próxima, amigos! Mantenha-o macaco gosta!

Friday, 20 March 2009

Funny Money Business

Saudações recentemente grandes símios nariz vermelho!

I noticed that last week you all did funny things for money (or at least funnier than usual - from my simian perspective much of your behaviour is amusing or confusing!).

In fact, my owners Frank PR were crazy enough to let different members of staff take the role of temporary Chairman and impose whatever despotic decrees they liked. If Dad and I took over the Zoo there would be even bigger changes! Like free fruit based moustache wax for all who need it and compulsory whooping.

Frank went along to npower’s pub quiz, which was hosted by noted funny monkey Phil Jupitus. He even pulled out one of those Red Noses for Comic Relief! Looked a bit like one of my cousins as a result. Surely that will make you want to stop all the funny business going on with the climate!?

Tenho que voltar para o pai de volta, para vê-lo mais tarde!

Friday, 13 March 2009

Ice work if you can get it

Oi companheiros!

We don’t get much ice in the rainforest but I was all in a spin to meet the lovely Zoe Salmon of Blue Peter and Dancing on Ice fame– you should have seen her triple axel, 6.0!

She skated by to launch the Little Green Fingers campaign for the energy folk at npower. It’s all about showing youngsters the energy behind how things grow – fingers crossed they’ll all plant a tree and help save my home…?

If you make a donation maybe I could be the first monkey to get a Blue Peter badge? How cool would that be?

Veja-o no gelo!

Monday, 9 March 2009

Keeping it McLean

Saudação meus amigos Internet!

Well I did promise you some messages from my new celebrity friends and we could not be starting off with a more jungletastic, pulse and hair raising choice than Nicola McLean!

She stopped by to launch the 2009 search for the Bennett's Babes and heard of my campaign to get my home saved (oh and make the planet more habitable for you big hairless monkeys too!). What better reason to dig deep and donate to make it happen?!

Adeus por agora!

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Olá, meu nome é Frankinho.

Me on Dad’s back

This is where I’ll stay for a while other than to get a meal from mum. By that time my famous moustache will be more prominent. My role here is to work with celebrity mates that my owners, the big apes at Frank PR, get to meet. They will help me protect my home for future generations and save the planet by doing so.Stay tuned for their special messages of support!