Friday 27 March 2009

Inflatable Fruits



The only way is up

Anima-te você raspou grandes macacos!

Even from under the fur of Dad’s back, I could hear you bipedal wonders talking today about inflation. Something about too few shiny round things and coloured paper to get the same goodies as before. Big grey silverbacks came out with numbers they were not expecting and then the chattering started. To me, they are just abstract shapes like tufts of fur left on the floor after a particularly effective grooming session. It just a silly thing quite separate from the fruit eating, food throwing, hooting, grooming and that other thing Dad won’t tell me about which really matter.

You laugh but we monkeys know quite a lot about economics – when I get bigger I’m sure my magnificent moustache will be stroked more than a pub dog while I consider the latest changes in grape futures pricing, or whether a quick groom is worth a nibble of a neighbour’s apple. The apple might be less sweet than one expects, and while I’m grooming the apple’s owner some naughty ape might snag my cucumber cube stash. Decisions, decisions!

Até a próxima, amigos! Mantenha-o macaco gosta!

Friday 20 March 2009

Funny Money Business


Saudações recentemente grandes símios nariz vermelho!

I noticed that last week you all did funny things for money (or at least funnier than usual - from my simian perspective much of your behaviour is amusing or confusing!).

In fact, my owners Frank PR were crazy enough to let different members of staff take the role of temporary Chairman and impose whatever despotic decrees they liked. If Dad and I took over the Zoo there would be even bigger changes! Like free fruit based moustache wax for all who need it and compulsory whooping.

Frank went along to npower’s pub quiz, which was hosted by noted funny monkey Phil Jupitus. He even pulled out one of those Red Noses for Comic Relief! Looked a bit like one of my cousins as a result. Surely that will make you want to stop all the funny business going on with the climate!?

Tenho que voltar para o pai de volta, para vê-lo mais tarde!

Friday 13 March 2009

Ice work if you can get it


Oi companheiros!

We don’t get much ice in the rainforest but I was all in a spin to meet the lovely Zoe Salmon of Blue Peter and Dancing on Ice fame– you should have seen her triple axel, 6.0!

She skated by to launch the Little Green Fingers campaign for the energy folk at npower. It’s all about showing youngsters the energy behind how things grow – fingers crossed they’ll all plant a tree and help save my home…?

If you make a donation maybe I could be the first monkey to get a Blue Peter badge? How cool would that be?

Veja-o no gelo!

Monday 9 March 2009

Keeping it McLean


Saudação meus amigos Internet!

Well I did promise you some messages from my new celebrity friends and we could not be starting off with a more jungletastic, pulse and hair raising choice than Nicola McLean!

She stopped by to launch the 2009 search for the Bennett's Babes and heard of my campaign to get my home saved (oh and make the planet more habitable for you big hairless monkeys too!). What better reason to dig deep and donate to make it happen?!

Adeus por agora!