Monday, 21 September 2009

It's a fair cop

Saudações meus amigos na chuva!

I’m sorry but I really must complain about the awful state of your island here. Some days you get enough water coming out of the sky to create a new electric eel sanctuary, other times it is just as cold and grey as the inside of a wet breezeblock. I wonder how you cope, but still the energy remains for you to come and mug at us through the glass. The latest thing seems to be to add foolish ‘OOP OOP’ type noises to experimental dances. The more of your little ones are around, the more the big ones resort to this kind of behaviour. In any other context, the police would be called.

Which reminds me of the latest celebrity friends my owners Frank PR have enlisted to my cause, Sam and Mark – who came round as part of npower’s Climate Cops campaign. I wish they would take their mission to keep the world cool and nice for all of us into the sky, and hit whatever it is that makes your silly weather with a baton! Seriously, though if you don’t all put your hands up and admit the problem, the whole planet will become even less pleasant than your chilly rock of an island. You know what to do – look to your right and be reminded!

Mantenha-a limpa até a próxima!

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