Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Shaking the tree

Feliz Natal gigante que macacos careca!

It is very very cold here. So cold that I’ve been refusing to type on this funny thing they put in front of me from time to time for fear of my little fingers getting stuck like the tongues of stupid people on ice cubes!

All this awful coldness does have a nice side effect, though – less tapping on the glass means a more relaxed time for me, Mum, Dad and the Twins! Fewer and fewer of you are coming to visit and many of those that do are dressed in red pyjamas with a kind of giant hat. Many have obviously false beards and moustaches. Homens Barba estranho!

It has something to do with being jolly and giving presents away – but I have yet to see any benefit – not even one mushy banana has been pushed in my direction by them! I think the keepers have misunderstood – these people are simply lost garden gnomes with insultingly fake facial hair. Why can’t you big apes take a hint from us and put as much effort into all the little hair you have as you do that on your head?

One champ in the head hair stakes is Kevin Pietersen who my owners Frank PR had in to celebrate his selection as the new Brylcreem boy. He is very famous amongst you lot for his skill hitting hard, round things you can’t eat with giant slabs of willow. I’m very excited he’s decided to come on board for my campaign!

So you know what to do – move your mouse up to one of my causes on the right – and hit the button!

Vejo você depois!

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