Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Two legs bad, four legs better?

Well my computer friends we meet again!

You seem a lot happier than before. That loud green bug game we discussed before seems to be going a lot more in your favour than you expected. I bet your rivals from that Down Under place will soon be selling their tear stained cork hats on ebay in shame.

Of course if you miss crucial points in the game it will be harder for you to make fun of them. My owners at Frank PR had Jimmy Anderson, who throws those red hard grape things fast for you down to remind you that the more of that juice you drink which makes you act funny you get down you, the more likely you are to be relieving yourself when important things happen.

But what’s this? A loud hooting coming from the keepers enclosure where they have that funny glowing box with a whole miniature world in it means there has been trouble. Seems that one of your chief giant grape like object batterers has been injured. This has damaged your plans to upset the cork hat people, apparently.

All this got me thinking – your famous sport silverbacks all seem pretty fragile, despite all their money and acclaim?

Then it hit me like an overripe banana falling from the trees – your problem is that you insist on walking upright, on two legs! Like those stupid, greasy and mean ostrich things – but they are much faster and better balanced than you. Doing things upright means that you wear your legs and feet out too quickly. Spend more time on all fours and you will be hurt half as much and not trip. You would be less upset by sport problems. The innocent, lovely way your babies look at the world when they are not being loud and stinky would return for all. And most importantly, there would be no big wars as you would all get to know each other as well as dogs do.

It all makes me wish John Lennon was around to write a song about it…Ah, well!

Mantenha-o quatro patas!

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