Saudações electrónicas osso caça fãs!
Mum, dad and I have been especially busy lately because your silverbacks seem to have decided to bunch up all your Bank Holidays round May time. I’ve been entertaining many more of you than usual with my moustachioed antics. As long as you do not tap on the glass we find all of you quite amusing to watch, too. It is hotter now so you are wearing less clothes than usual, reminding us of the full extent of your furless indecency.
Some of our spoddier keepers were marvelling about this new fossil that may be a common ancestor of us all. She is called Ida and is preserved well enough that we can see she was a real gourmet – her last meal consisted of fruit (giant, football sized prehistoric grapes I bet) and leaves. There is a lot of controversy as some scientists are suspicious of the amount of marketing associated with it today even though it was dug out of a famous bone pit twenty years ago. Saying she links us all might be as premature as putting a hard, tiny green banana on your cereal before you’ve even poured it into the bowl.
Ida has a TV documentary and a book deal already and I’d not be surprised if there are Ida branded dolls, novelty sausages, moustache combs, Lego play sets and commemorative pyjamas in the near future.
If the big apes at Frank PR carry on in their accustomed fashion I will soon join Ida in international fame and be able to design my own brand of grape case (to avoid that embarrassing squishing problem). The sooner you dig deep to save my home, the sooner I can concentrate on innovative merchandising so get clicking on the right - right now!
Até a próxima, olhar para fora para famosos ossos!