A dangerous adventure...

Assustador, não gosto de animais grandes macacos!

Hello again electric dreamers. I wanted to let you know about an attempt my owners at Frank PR made to make me a new celebrity friend that didn’t quite work out as expected.

One of the brave hominids from Frank went on a long and risky journey to make a new animal friend. There is just one family of Wolverines in the UK – at Edinburgh Zoo. These creatures are not nice like me – they are more dangerous than a bunch of grapes covered in spitting cobras and barbed wire. They don’t like much, but they do like video games like Activision’s new ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’.

So much so that Xael, the male wolverine, agreed to change his name to Logan if Activision would stump up the expense of keeping him happy for a year and do a photoshoot to commemorate it all. With great personal risk to all involved, this was done. However, Logan’s poor performance playing the game put him in such a mood that when he was asked if he would offer a message of support he said he’d rather slice me up into a hairy bit of haggis filling. And if he was asked again while he was busy playing he’d tie up my whole family by our moustaches and gut us like malformed kippers. Que desgraçado!

Well matters soon improved as my owners also had arranged to meet the far nicer, prettier and less mean Lucy Pinder to launch the game. She was so moved by my plight she even drew me a picture. Dad seems especially interested in her endorsement, but will not explain why. Maybe she has told him where to get some banana scented moustache styling clippers?

Até a próxima!